CAST AND CHARACTERS:
Alice played by Ayesha
organ grinder. How could I have expected you to have been able
to successfully read a map without opposable thumbs?"
Alice is 27,
middle class and university educated. She met Jon in the office
admin job she temped in four years ago. She is driven in her
career as a literary agent and recently just started as a junior
in a big agency after doing well in smaller ones. Sharp-witted,
foul-mouthed and an intelligent book lover, she enjoys
socialising and meeting people. Loves Jon for his no-bullshit
approach to most things, his sense of humour and his support for
her when she's down. She gets frustrated with his lack of effort
with people and his lack of confidence in his own (considerable
but undeveloped) abilities. She is forthright and opinionated
with (nearly) everyone. Her favourite cheese is Gratte-Paille.
Ayesha is best
known for playing Poppy Silver in Grange Hill and Rachel
Baptiste in Holby City. Other television credits include the
role of Kelly Grogan in sitcom pilot Placebo, a husband-beating
shoplifter in The Bill and as Dee Dee Blasco in the Doctor Who
episode Midnight. Most recently, Ayesha appeared in Paul
Whitehouse's series Down The Line, and the multi media comedy
drama Mouth to Mouth for BBC Three.
Jon played by Andrew
shares your frustrations I think. The only woman he's been
inside in the last five years was Dorothy Perkins."
Jon is 33, working class and left
school at 16 to drift between a number of dead-end jobs. He's
been in the latest office admin job for the last seven years.
Sharp-witted, foul-mouthed and an intelligent film-lover, he's
not naturally motivated to socialise. However, he wooed Alice
through his humour and his acceptance of her as she is. He can
be warm, kind and supportive to those he loves; but bitterly
disparaging about those he doesn't like. Cares deeply for Alice
even though his lack of motivation for housework sometimes
belies this. His favourite cheese is Mini Babybel.
Andrew is no stranger to stage and
screen, coming to prominence as ‘bad boy’ Ben Carter in the
successful children’s series Byker Grove; and presenting
segments on various television shows including CBBC, UK Top 40
and Live & Kicking. Recently he guest starred in Doctor Who as
Keren played by Helen
ego is a fragile hollow thing. I had a boyfriend who
pouted for days after I cried out “Jesus” when I came. Just
because I mentioned another man’s name."
past-the-knuckle best friend and colleague. She looks out for
Alice and down at Jon. Sharp-witted, foul mouthed and an easy
lover, Keren's obsessed with getting the next lay and doesn't
care how she does it. Her favourite cheese is Longhorn.
Helen is a regular
in the Fantom Films studios having starred in Spring
Awakening, Gaslight and Ghosts as well as directing a number of
Time Hunter talking books and The Wild Duck! Helen also
co-directed Fight for the Remote.
Grub played by
you be offended if I threw up in your toilet?"
geeky best friend of Jon, Grub aims to be nice, polite and to do
the right thing by everybody. He doesn't always succeed but gets
three gold stars for trying. His favourite cheese is Laughing
Cow Cheez Dippers Original.
Daniel is best
known for his appearance in Doctor Who: The Unicorn and the Wasp
as Davenport. He has also starred in the Fantom audio Night of
the Wolf alongside Fenella Fielding. Daniel also performs with
The Comedy Mutts, and has just completed a stint at the
Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Mrs. Hamilton played by
"Two more years like this and his
count will be in the single digits. Even if you do conceive,
do you want all your children to be thin?"
A prim, socially superior middle
class snob, Alice's mother is the one person who can turn the
strong-minded young literary agent into a cowering, subservient
piece of mush. Her favourite cheese is Gospel Green.
Ellen has a vast array of television
and comedic credits however she is most fondly remembered her
recurring role in the Channel 4’s Teachers as school secretary -
Liz Webbe. Other credits include Coming of Age, Come Fly with
Me, Rev., Doctor Who, Moses Jones, New Tricks, Outnumbered,
Little Miss Jocelyn, French and Saunders, and The Lenny Henry
Show. She is currently playing Grace Olubunmi in EastEnders.
played by Keith Flood
once ejaculated on a tramp you know. You know what he said
after? "Big Issue. Big Issue." Everyone's a critic."
Bombastic bisexual ageing actor
Raymond De Havilland has turned children's writer. He was
moderately successful before the whiskey became his daily friend
and he started trying to hump the furniture. As the company's
newest recruit, Alice has been given Camp Raymond as her one and
only client and is constantly struggling to get him in the
professional spotlight once more. His likes any cheese “soft
enough to plunder with flesh tools.”
Keiths credits include Sir Leo Bisby
in Requiem, Porno Roy in The Shop, King Lear in King Lear, A.C.C
George Oldfield in The Yorkshire Ripper and Leonato in Much Ado